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Warning-sign checks

Grief: when to get help

Go through these in order and stop at the first one that applies. If you are reading this for someone else, answer for them.

  1. 1

    Is any of this happening now?

    Call 911

    Call emergency services or go to an emergency department now if you:

    • Have attempted suicide or seriously harmed yourself
    • Have a plan and may act on suicidal thoughts
    • Cannot keep yourself or someone else safe
    • Are severely confused, agitated, or disconnected from reality

    New or severe chest pain, major breathing difficulty, fainting, or symptoms of a stroke also need emergency assessment.

    Do not assume a serious physical symptom is caused only by grief.

    Other emergency signs, for anyone
    • Someone who is struggling to breathe, gasping, choking, or cannot get words out
    • Someone who has chest pain, tightness or pressure lasting more than a few minutes
    • Someone who has sudden weakness or drooping on one side of the face or body, slurred speech, or sudden confusion
    • Someone who is unconscious, or cannot be woken
    • Someone who is bleeding heavily and it will not stop with firm pressure
    • Someone who has had a seizure that will not stop, or does not wake up afterwards
    • Someone who has lips or skin that look pale, blue, grey or blotchy
    • Someone who you believe has taken an overdose or swallowed something poisonous
  2. 2

    Is any of this happening?

    Be seen today

    It is also reasonable to seek help sooner if you feel stuck, isolated, or unsure how to cope.

    You do not need to wait for a set amount of time.

    Arrange same-day help if you are having thoughts about suicide or self-harm, even if you do not intend to act on them.

    Also seek same-day care if you are using alcohol or drugs in a way that feels unsafe, cannot manage essential food or fluids, or have gone several nights with almost no sleep.

    If possible, stay with a trusted person and move away from weapons, large amounts of medication, or other means of harm while urgent help is arranged.

  3. 3

    Does any of this apply?

    Book an appointment

    Contact a doctor or mental health professional for a routine appointment if grief continues to interfere with sleep, self-care, work, school, or relationships.

Every sign above is quoted from the sofidex article on Grief. If you are not sure, err upward — it is always reasonable to be checked.